Some thoughts....very off topic

[purplepickup]

Something happened tonight that moved me enough to make me share some thoughts.  I was out doing some running around and had a talk radio show on.  A guy had called in that was very angry about everything and was blaming all the world's woes on whoever he felt like without any good reasons.  He was just full of hate and by the tone of his rantings you could tell his life was probably miserable in most other areas too.  The host of the show let the caller talk and didn't argue with him.  After a reasonable amount of time the host thanked the guy for his call and said good-bye.  Then he told a little story about how his dad died unexpectedly when he was 12 years old and how it affected his life.  He said it made him realize how precious life is and how thankful he is to wake up in the morning and have the privilege to live another day.  He went on to say that we all have the choice to have a positive or a negative attitude but we only get one shot at life.  Nobody is going to tap us on the shoulder and tell us how much time we have left...we get what time we get, and then it's over.  In referring to the caller, he said that it was a shame that so many people choose to live their lives full of hatred and prejudice.  

I thought about that and in my daily activities I see angry, selfish people everywhere.  There's nothing I can do about it except to resolve to always look for the good in things instead of the bad and hope it rubs off on others.  He was right...life is just too short to waste by being negative.

All this happened while I was driving around.  When I got home there was a message on the answering machine from Sue.  She was at her daughter's house.  Her daughter had called and said that our 8-year-old grandson's dad had died this evening.  He had a brain aneurysm in a grocery store at 34 years old.   They had divorced but they still got along good.  Her son is devastated and the family is starting some counseling tomorrow to learn the right way to handle it.

I'm not writing this for sympathy because I hardly knew the guy.  I guess I just want to say something that might make someone stop and think before they let a negative attitude and anger take time away from their already too short of a life.

[Crosley.In.AZ]

All folks deal with death differently , depending on the relationship with the person that has passed.  

I am sorry to hear the young fellows father has passed away at such a young age. Thankfully the lad's mother & father were friendly, rather than a mean / nasty divorce that usually happens.

My mother died of a brain aneurysm in 1975.  I was a smart a-ss 21 yr old married kid at the time. It took me decades to understand what I had really lost.  Obviously I had lost my mother, but I had lost a great deal more in the knowledge , love , wisdom and companionship my mother would have provided to me.

A week ago on dec 23rd..... 3 of us from work met with a 4th guy for lunch.  I had not seen Larry in 6+ years, my boss had not seen him in 20+ years.  The 3rd guy sees Larry several times a year.

I've known Larry for over 40 years.  We found our selves listing the folks we knew that had died in the past 3- 4- 5 years. The list was fairly long.  I was surprised by the list of folks he knew of and Larry was the same at my list.

I am not sure what this has to do with anything , but there it is

[enjenjo]

Some people waste their entire life and don't learn that George. Hating doesn't hurt the ones you hate, near as much as it hurts you.

[alchevy]

George,
My Dad passed away when I was 12, back in '77.  You are correct that it all depends on attitude. The strong faith that my Mom had kept everything going as she raised my sister and I. My sister was 14. I think back how my life changed when I was 12. I also think and try to imagine what it would have been like to of had my Dad here now to share my '40 Chevy with him. He was into cars too...in '59, he had a '59 Corvette. There's pictures of it on my website. I have never seen the car. He sold it in '62 and I was born in '65.

Sounds like the guy you mentioned fits into that song, "I Hate Everything".  They miss so much when they think like that.
AL

[58Apache]

One of the things I like about reading the boards here, meeting the people, and going to the shows is that most of you seem to have a positive outlook, a great love of life, and a "can do" attitude.

Instead of complaining about not being able to do something easily, you guys mostly keep on trying and maybe with a little help from some friends, find a solution that sometimes improves on what engineers once figured out with slide rules and geometry, engineering drawings and test jigs.

You guys just whip out the sheet metal, welders, cutters, and adapt things from other cars to make these things better than they were when they left the factory. You reserect from junk yards piles of rust and see a vision of what can be with some hard work, tools, and a little help from friends. You see something that can be and set a goal to make it happen. And sometimes the journey is most of what you enjoy.

It's all about figuring out another way to deal with things when life throws you a curve. It's not sitting around and whining about things, it's about doing what needs to be done to make the situation better. It's about having a vision, a goal, and being willing to do what needs to be done to get there from here.

Many people can't do that, and you guys can. That's why you can't understand a guy that constantly whines. You say to yourself ......well why don't he do something to change things?  The poor guy has no vision or belief in himself to use his abilities to make things better. Maybe he was taught this, and maybe his experiences in life made it happen. Sounds like a few of you had some bad expeirences yourself and turned things around to make things positive in spite of hard times.

The way you enjoy each other, humor each other, share your love for the hobby, a great love of life and belief that you should work hard and play even harder and sometimes they are one in the same. I want to be a rodder too

                                             Steve

[SKR8PN]

Both George and Steve have made some very valid points and mentioned some things that have happened to me,and were brought to the front of my life this past year. A wake up call if you will...............
A year ago this month,Patrick and I blew up at each other over the way things were,or were NOT going with SKR8PN the truck,and I brought the truck home,for completion. To say the split was ugly would be an understatement,and I can honestly say I have never had those kind of feelings towards anyone at any time in my past. Even my "X" wife never upset me that bad! I had let the stress eat at me until it effected my health,and was a contributing factor in my heart attack. THAT,was my wake up call.
After that, I realized just how much,that stress was effecting,not just my health,but everything in my life,and I had to keep reminding myself to just let it go, that everything will work out in the end.
I keep telling myself "it's only a truck" and "it's only money".
Oh,I still have my moments,but,for the most part, I like to think I am back to my old cheery self.  And when I catch myself having "one of those moments" I try to stop,and remind myself,just what I DO have to be thankful for..............

[WZ JUNK]

Very good thoughts everyone.  

Enjoy the day and everyday.

[Sean]

After that, I realized just how much,that stress was effecting,not just my health,but everything in my life,and I had to keep reminding myself to just let it go, that everything will work out in the end.

I have had to learn that too. A couple of years ago I was put in charge of a "Shutdown" at one of the nationally known Foodplants. We were installing new processing equipment and the Job had to be done in order for the Plant to go back into production after the Holidays. We had 9 days to do it and by the 7th day of keeping 15 guys busy while negotiating with the other Trades on the Job and arguing with the Engineers about why their equipment wasn't fitting the way they drew it, I was having some pretty severe "attitude explosions". Some of those explosions happened at home and my Wife was about ready to move out.

It all worked out in the end, the Plant started back up on schedule and everything worked like it was supposed to. I have learned to chill out since then, but many people never do. My own Boss has been Married 5 times and every one of them ended because he couldn't seperate work from his home life.

I value my family much more than my Job, so nowadays most of my explosions come when dealing with that Boss. He will drop Family plans, or promises to his Wife to take care of something at work, and can't understand why I won't.  I guess some people will never learn...

[40]

Wow! Has to be tough on an 8 year old to lose his Dad.....Good thing he has you for a Grandpa!!

[58Apache]

And when I catch myself having "one of those moments" I try to stop,and remind myself,just what I DO have to be thankful for..............

I think we have all been there. I know there have been many times, and often take for granted what I have.

A few months ago, I was out and out offered a job that was a promotion and working in exactly what I loved doing most. However, it meant I had to move to near a large city, and due to housing costs, live in an Apartment for several years, until ....well who knows? Maybe until retirement?

My wife would have gave up her house, I would have gave up my garage,  and my car hobby, the cost of living and traffic were big downers....bottom line, I finally realized what I would be giving up and decided it just wasn't worth it. It was almost too late to back out and I had to eat some things, but getting back what I had was worth it.

Life didn't give me the opportunity to have a son, not that other options weren't available. We had one daughter and we had a great father-daughter time over the years playing softballl and more. She may not be able to have kids so I may be without grandkids as well.

Life goes on. I am making the best out of the hand that I was dealt, and trying to appreciate all I have. The thing is to appreciate what you have and make the best of it.  Now if I could just get my daughter to help with the restoration of her one day inherited car  The few times she has helped I treasure as precious father-daughter time. The wife I gave up on for help unless it's a critical situation where I need an extra pair of hands for a few minutes. ..and then I pay the price

                                                              Steve

[mopar2dr]

This topic hit home hard! Last Memorial Day due to construction our hometown didn't have a parade. Instead,they had a service at the cemetary. My grand daughters school band provided music and played taps to honor the many who gave all for our country,my reason for going. Gloria and myself arrived early and took the opertunity to visit the family graves from both our familys. This is something we don't do enough of,sorry to say. Then as we wondered around I noticed names of people I had known at some point in my life. Friends of the family,co-workers and the casual friend. All of these people in one way or another had some effect on me. Some I didn't care for and others I would love to sit and talk to agian. I even had to chuckle as I passed one,a farmer I had worked for as teenager. His sense of humor and dumb jokes still live in my mind. A great uncle who told me stories of this area at turn of the last century will be with me forever. A teacher who pulled my hair and kicked me with her pointed shoes(I deserved it and never misbehaved in her class again)R.I.P. These are the people who in some small or major way effected me. I am lucky that my parents are still with us and very active seniors. The point to this ramble is that as I walked about among the past that I to will be here someday. I can only hope that as someone walks by they will chuckle and shake thier head.

[Pope Downunder]

Snip ...
A guy had called in that was very angry about everything and was blaming all the world's woes on whoever he felt like without any good reasons.  He was just full of hate and by the tone of his rantings you could tell his life was probably miserable in most other areas too.  ... Snip.

Sounds like this fellow needs some help before he hurts somebody.

[Dirk35]

George, I think Steve (58 Apache) said it best:

Instead of complaining about not being able to do something easily, you guys mostly keep on trying

I just cannot get my wife to understand this. All you have to do is to:
1. See you need to change something
2. put effort, actual real constant effort to make the change.

I tried being depressed after a break-up of an ex-grilfriend, but I decided it was boring sleeping all the time and feeling sorry for myself. So I picked myself up, orgainized my fishing tackle box and went fishing. I then picked up mountain biking, met new friend, and got over it. Of course, with better attitude, I came accross many other girlfriends later, but those college days are past.

But, for me, #1 on my list is the most difficult. #2, I can handle once I commit to it.

Thats the most difficult thing for me to get my wife to understand, that she HAS TO TRY!

Its the same story with her work. She isnt happy with her job, and honestly doesnt get paid crap (low $20k range and has a Bachelor degree). But I cannot get her to do the effort (not a lot of effort, just a little) to even make a new resume, let alone send it out.

I dont know that Ill ever get her to understand the words: "TRY" or "Effort". But thats what it really takes! Well, after "UNDERSTANDING a problem" of course.