Funny stuff people say

[Crosley.In.AZ]

Actually this is stuff I've heard lately from customers at work. It entertains me , mayb you folks will see some humor too.

Thse are my recent favorites

#1; A fellow brings his car in with a fresh T-400 he just installed a week ago purchased from us..... "leaks like crazy he says!" demanding we fix it...... car is put up on hoist. Tranny is leaking from pan, govenor cover and tail housing.  

It just happens these parts have ALL been changed by the customer. The parts are now chrome or polished... different from when the tranny left the shop.   Estimate $$ given. Trany is repaired with gripes from customer.

#2; A fellow calls ...... he has a T-700 performance unit.  It's 3+ years old, works great BUT..... he would like a original (soft) shift quality  unit now.  He thought he should get a $$ refund for  the price difference from the HP tranny to the fresh stock shift unit.... LOL

#3;  A fellow ships his t-700 tranny in wanting it fixed under warranty even though it is 2 years out of warranty.  A second fellow starts calling wanting .... then demanding a fresh tranny in replacement for the unit sent in by the #1 fellow.  It seems fellow #1 sold the vehicle with the promise of a fresh tranny to fellow #2.... now we are in the middle.

Tranny needs minor items, fellow #1 has to pay for repairs and shipping if he wants the tranny back. He is not happy.

It is a crazy world we live in

[phat46]

Aren't you glad you don't own the business and have to deal with these people?
 We get the same type of thing where i work, we have customers who make interior parts for the big three (or four or five) and use a die for six months and send it back saying the parts aren't correct. This is after many thousands of parts have been made and put into cars. What they are really looking for is a free upgrade to the next years model. Doesn't work, but they keep trying.....

[Crosley.In.AZ]

I just remembered another one....

I was up front on lunch talking hotrod stuff with  Matt ( sales guy)...... customer walks in and Matt goes to work.

The customer starts off with " I have a blown alcohol altered blah blah car I need a glide and converter...... Matt started in with questions about the motor and car to determine what the customer would need

What it came down to , the guy bought an old chassis roller & body. He was installing a basic sm chevy and glide in it.  Never had  owned or drove the car with any alcohol motor.  

[EMSjunkie]

Ya just hafta laugh sometimes at people.
My favorite was a guy we ran on for a stab wound.
when we arrived on scene, he's sitting on the couch with a sucking chest wound to the left upper chest, having a little trouble breathing.
asked him what happened. he tells me " Dunno, just laying on the couch with my girlfriend, when my wife comes home and startes stabbing me with a butter knife"  :oops:
that had to be as new kinda hurt.

Vance

[Bruce Dorsi]

Maybe you can help me, Tony!  

I have a black car w/red wheels.  

What stall converter should I be using?

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Of course, I'm just kidding!    

Anyone who deals with the public could probably write a book about dumb things they've heard.  ...'Ya wonder how these people make it through life!

My favorite from working in the lawnmower shop was when a customer called to report, "My mower is making a funny noise.  Can you tell me what's wrong? -- I'll hold the phone out the window so you can hear it."

I was a GOOD mechanic then, but not THAT good! ...I was laughing so hard, I couldn't even hear the mower running!


Many years ago, at our self-service carwash, I saw a fellow, standing with his arms crossed, staring at his car.  ...Thinking he was having car problems, I walked over to see if I could help.

He explained that the instruction sign inside the bay said: "When washing is complete, please drive out to drying area."

He went on to say that since he had already washed his car, he was now waiting for it to dry.

I then realized that NOBODY could help this guy!

Sometimes people are so dumb they amuse me.  
...Other times, they are so dumb it makes me cry!!   :cry:

[Glen]

OK...Ill play.

Quotes from this week: 05 Ford Escape
Customer demands to speak with service manager only, wont let an advisor answer question.
A squirrel ate our fuel line, is that covered under warranty?
answer:  No
Customer angry it was not covered.
How much would it be to fix?
Answer: I dont know, which fuel line is it?
The one from the carb to the gas tank


Blown transmission, on a mustang, NOS stickers on back, bottle in trunk, pretty red button on shifter.
customer demands a rental and new trans thru warranty.

[moparrodder]

" Dunno, just laying on the couch with my girlfriend, when my wife comes home and startes stabbing me with a butter knife"  :oops:


Vance

  That was a good one Vance!!  Here's one we had at 2am a couple yeaes ago...paged out as allergic reaction to a medication, upon arrival found patient sitting on couch with coat on smokin a cig stands up pulls on her shirt exposing her left boob and says "I got a rash"   Her mother says they were enroute to the hospital about 28 miles away and discovered after 10 miles they didn't have enough gas to make it there so they turned around and came home and called us, there was a gas station 8 miles futher down the road that is open 24 hr but drove the 10 miles home to call us, then while we were enroute in the ambulance the mother asked us what we were doing when she had us paged out (here it comes)  one of the emt's said "Duh we're a vollenteer squad, we were home practicing safe sex" and her reply was "how do you do that ?   and he said"we were SLEEPING".....duh   Boy ya really get some real doozies sometimes!!          Bill

[Crosley.In.AZ]

Glen,

that ain't fair.

you probably talk to 30 people a day with a different view of the warranty situation.



And I don't know how you do it and keep your mind .

[EMSjunkie]

 upon arrival found patient sitting on couch with coat on smokin a cig stands up pulls on her shirt exposing her left boob and says "I got a rash"           Bill

That's another bad thing about dealing with the public.
the ones ya don't wanna see naked, ya see.
the ones ya really wanna see naked, ya don't
the bigger and uglier they are, the more likely you are to see them naked.


Vance

_____________________________________________________________


"on the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key"

[Leon]

Reminds me of a joke
A farmer buys a chainsaw cause the salesman says it will cut lumber 10 times faster than his axe.
He takes it home and the first day it only cuts twice as much.
The next day he works like crazy and it still only cuts 3 times as much.
So the following day he takes it back for a refund and explains why.  The salesman says he'd like to check it out so he gives the cord a couple pulls...
BBBRRRRRRRR  it fires up
The farmer says "What's that noise?"

[EMSjunkie]

Reminds me of a joke
A farmer buys a chainsaw cause the salesman says it will cut lumber 10 times faster than his axe.
He takes it home and the first day it only cuts twice as much.
The next day he works like crazy and it still only cuts 3 times as much.
So the following day he takes it back for a refund and explains why.  The salesman says he'd like to check it out so he gives the cord a couple pulls...
BBBRRRRRRRR  it fires up
The farmer says "What's that noise?"

I think I ran a call on this guy a week or so ago, was trying to cut a small log with his chain saw, rested the log on his right leg, after all, it was just a small log, too much trouble to bend over and cut it on the ground.

380 stitches later, the log still ain't cut!


Vance

sometimes I wish they would take the warning lables off of everything and let the problems solve themselves.

[1FATGMC]

When I was in the Navy in the 60's my best freind and I left the ship and went to the parking lot to get the car we owned jointly.  Another guy that we knew from the ship was standing there in front of his car.  He had a battery sitting on the ground with jumper cables going to the battery in the car.  I asked him what he was doing.

He told me he was waiting for the electricity from the battery on the ground to go into the car battery  .

c ya, Sum

[longislandvic]

years ago when i was in home improvements i was doing an  interior of a cape for a young couple that wre from the city. didnt know much about houses.  first floor hadd8 ft walls upstairs was 7 foot.  i was using 3 in clamshell base throughout the house..  she looks it  the living room ..loves it  they go upstairs  she starts to cry.. i ask wts wrong she says it looks wrong the trim is too big... the husband  explains the the  floors are lower on the first floor. you cant make this up  :

[DRD57]

As a kid I was in the hospital several times so, I watched a lot of daytime TV which included the Newlywed Game each afternoon.

n one episode they asked the husbands "from which direction does the sun rise in your neighborhood?"

I don't remember what the answers the husbands gave were but when the 4 wives returned they gave four different answers and the one who was right wasn't too sure.