The Rodding Roundtable
Motorhead Message Central => Rodder's Roundtable => Topic started by: enjenjo on October 22, 2021, 10:14:43 PM
Winter weather will be here very soon. So be ready for it and prepare your ride before it arrives.
The following are a dozen helpful tips for winterizing your car, plus one bonus tip:.
1. Reverse your battery cables so that the heat comes on instead of the air conditioning.
2. Change the air in your tires from the hot summer air to drier cold winter air to avoid getting a flat.
3. Loosen your lug nuts so they won't freeze to the wheel in case you do get a flat.
4. Check your blinker fluid and top it off if needed.
5. When you get home at night after driving your car and it's is still warm, place a wet towel on the windshield to insulate it and hold the heat in for the next morning so you don't have to scrape the glass.
6. Sharpen your wiper blades to better cut through any ice and snow on your windshield while you're driving.
7. Demagnatize your muffler bearings to keep your exhaust fluid from freezing.
8. Make sure you have a left-handed metric screwdriver in case you need to adjust your thermostat.
9. Run a hose from your tailpipe to the inside of your car to recycle the heat from your exhaust.
10. If you change your own oil make sure and leave the engine running while you do it so the oil doesn't freeze and clog up your oil plan and drain plug.
11. Remove your front tires because the edges of your rims will dig into the ice and give you precise steering.
12. If your gas cap becomes difficult to unscrew take a lighter and burn off the hardened residue built up on the inside of the hole.
Bonus Tip: Drive south until you see palm trees. Then apply the brakes and sunscreen.
The best Yugos were the ones sold in the last year of production. They had a heated rear window to help keep your hands warm while pushing.
Technical help
I need one of these https://drivetribe.com/p/who-needs-a-boost-gauge-when-you-ditwv-gUT_OlSyS7NPFQww?iid=VT4OI0sFSHe3la_B1ATwiA
What sound does a witch's hot rod make?
Broom, Broom!
If a clown laughs, does it sound funny?
how many of you have seen the Dan Aykroyd movie Dragnet.. the pornographers house is actually a catholic nun retreat here in Los Angeles... in the mid 1980s. Same property Katy Perry was trying to buy.. . i was sent over to look at a broken car there.. i looked at it.. told them the cost to fix it.. the Rev Mother ask for the keys.. they were still in the car.. rev mother said. lock the car and bring back the keys.. as i returned and knocked on the door.. a novice Nun opened the door.. she was so pretty that i could not talk right.. i think i had the same effect on her.. i spotted the rev mother giggling off to the side.. all i could say were Kkkeeeeyyyysss. the Rev Mother looked back and forth and realized that her prank had gone sideways.. she ripped the keys from my hand and slammed the door.. i took that as a signal to GTFO Now.. i still have the novices face burned in the back of my brain.. so i guess that would put me in the Perpetual joke club..
in all truth.. if that door had stayed open another 10 or 15 seconds.. i might have said lets go..
my worst nightmare would have been if the Rev mother has said.. ill be ready in 5 minutes..
Two young'uns reluctantly climb out of bed on a Saturday and arrive at the breakfast table. Mother sweetly inquires of the gruff eldest: What would you like for breakfast?
"Just gimmie some dang corn flakes!" is the snotnosed reply.
WHAM! Father backhands the smartmouth so hard it tips the chair over. "Don't you dare speak to your mother that way!" he barks.
After a silence, mother asks the younger what he would like. Cowering, in a sheepish tone he says...
"Um. I don't know. But I sure don't want none of them dang corn flakes! :lol:
Lufkin has announced they will not be making their prized yardsticks any longer . It is the companys feeling that they have made them long enough . After all 36" is a yard !
1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"
11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
13. I run like the winded.
14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."
19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.
21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.
"did you bring the money?" LMAO :lol:
I had great memories in the car I owned with a very low reverse gear. It really took me back.
An old cajun man told me my headlights were out of adjustment once. He said I had one digging ditches and the other hunting squirrels.
I once had a girlfriend with a wooden leg named Peg . She worked at the IHOP . She ticked me off one day so I broke it off .
What was the name of her other leg?
At the end of this time, he has every single dance of every single indigenous culture in the world. He winds up in Australia, in Alice Springs, so he pops into a pub for a well-earned beer. He gets talking to one of the local Aborigines and tells him about his project.
The Aborigine asks the guy what he thought of the Butcher Dance.
The guy's a bit confused and says, "Butcher Dance? What's that?"
"What? You haven't seen the Butcher Dance?"
"No, I've never heard of it."
"Oh mate. You are crazy. How can you say you filmed every native dance if you haven't seen the Butcher Dance?"
"Umm. I got a corroboree on film just the other week. Is that what you mean?"
"No no, not corroboree. Butcher Dance is much more important than corroboree."
"Oh. Well how can I see this Butcher Dance then?"
"Mate, Butcher Dance is right out in th' bush. It takes many days of travel to go see Butcher Dance."
"Look, I've been everywhere from the forests of the Amazon, to deepest darkest Africa, to the frozen wastes of the Arctic, filming these dances. Nothing will prevent me from recording this one last dance!"
"OK, mate. You drive north along Stuart Highway towards Darwin. After you drive 250km, you'll see a dirt track off to the left. Follow the dirt track for 150km until you see a huge, dead gum tree - biggest tree you ever seen. Here you gotta leave the car, because it's much too rough for driving. You strike out due West into the setting sun. You walk three days til you hit a creek. You follow this creek to northwest. After two days you reach a place where the creek flows out of rocky mountains. It's much too difficult to cross the mountains here though. You now head south for a half day til you see a pass through the mountains. The pass is very difficult and very dangerous. Takes two, maybe three days to get through the rocky pass. When you're through, head northwest for four days until you reach a big huge rock - 15m high and shaped like a man's head. From whi rock, walk due west for two days and you reach a village. Here you'll see the Butcher Dance."
So, the guy grabs his camera crew and equipment and heads out. After a couple of hours he finds the dirt track. The track is in a shocking state and he's forced to crawl along at a snail's pace and so he doesn't reach the tree until dusk, and he's forced to set up camp for the night.
He sets out bright and early the following morning. His spirits are high and he's excited about the prospect of capturing on film this mysterious dance which he has never heard mentioned before. True to the directions he has been given, he reaches the creek after three days and follows it for another two until he reaches the rocky mountains. The merciless sun is starting to take its toll by this time and his spirits are starting to flag, but wearily he trudges on until he finds the pass through the hills, confident that nothing will prevent him from completing his life's dream.
The mountains prove to be every bit as treacherous as his guide said, and at times he almost despairs of getting his bulky equipment through. But after three and a half days of back breaking effort he finally forces his way clear and continues his long trek. When he reaches the huge rock, four days later, his water is running low and his feet are covered with blisters. Yet he steels himself and heads out on the last leg of his journey. Two days later he virtually staggers into the village where the Aborigines feed him and give him fresh water. He begins to feel like a new man. Once he's recovered enough, the guy goes before the village Elder and tells him that he has come to film their Butcher Dance.
"Oh mate. It's very bad you come today. Butcher Dance last night. You're too late. You missed the dance!"
"Well, when do you hold the next dance?"
"Not 'til next year!"
"Well, I've come all this way. Couldn't you just hold an extra dance for me, tonight?"
"No, no, no. Butcher Dance is very sacred. Only held once a year. If we hold more, the spirits get very angry. You want to see Butcher Dance? You come back next year."
The guy is devastated, but he has no other option but to head back to civilization and back home.
The following year, he heads back to Australia and, determined not to miss out again, sets out a week earlier than last time. He is quite willing to spend a week with the Aboriginal people before the dance is performed in order to ensure he is present to witness it. However, right from the start things go wrong.
Heavy rains that year have turned the dirt track to mud and the car gets bogged every few kilometres, finally forcing him to abandon his vehicle and slog through the mud on foot almost half the distance to the tree. He reaches the creek and the mountains without any further hitch, but halfway through the ascent of the mountain he is struck by a fierce storm which rages for several days, during which he is forced to cling forlornly to the mountainside until it subsides. It would be suicide to attempt to scale the treacherous paths in the face of such savage elements. Then, before he has travelled a kilometre out from the mountains, he sprains his ankle badly which slows down the rest of his journey to the rock enormously. Eventually, having lost all sense of how long he has been travelling, he staggers into the community at about 12 noon.
"The Butcher Dance!" gasps the guy. "Please don't tell me I'm too late!"
The Elder recognises him and says, "No, whitefella, Butcher Dance performed tonight. You arrived just in time!"
Relieved beyond measure, he spends the rest of the afternoon setting up his equipment - preparing to capture the night's ritual on celluloid. As dusk falls, the Aborigines start to cover their bodies in white paint and adorn themselves in bird feathers and animal skins. Once darkness has settled fully over the land, the dancers form a circle around a huge roaring fire.
A deathly hush descends over the performers and spectators alike, as a wizened old figure with elaborate swirling designs covering his entire body enters the circle and begins to chant.
"Some sort of witch doctor or medicine man," thinks the guy, and he whispers to the Elder, "What's he doing?"
"Hush,"whispers the Elder. "You're the first whitefella to ever see the most sacred of our rituals. You must remain silent. This holy man, he asks that the spirits of the Dreaming watch as we demonstrate our devotion to them through our dance and, if they like our dancing, will they be so gracious as to watch over us and protect us for another year."
The chanting of the holy man reaches a stunning crescendo before he moves himself from the circle. From somewhere the rhythmic pounding of clapsticks reverberate out across the land and the dancers begin to sway to the stirring rhythm.
The guy is becoming caught up in the fervour of the moment himself. This is it. He now realises beyond all doubt that his wait has not been in vain. He is about to witness the ultimate performance of rhythm and movement ever conceived by humanity.
The Elder strides to his position in the circle and, in a big booming voice, starts to sing.
"You butch yer right arm in. You butch yer right arm out. You butch yer right arm in and you shake it all about..."
You got me good on that one, Frank! ;D
Obviously that was a cut & paste, or you started typing a year ago.
He should have ridden Gumby's hokey horse. That was a long ride for a little campfire.
Whitefeller was Tonto's radio horse when they were making Model Bs. :o
happy easter ..... what is the easter egg's least favourite day ? Friday . Did you know the easter bunny sidelines as a waiter ? Yup he works at the IHOP . What is the easter bunny's favourite music ? Hip Hop !
As I've grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but * everyone off is a piece of cake.
I'm responsible for what I say, not what you understand.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.
My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there's a new strain out there.
It's not my age that bothers me, it's the side effects.
I'm not saying I'm old and worn out, but I make sure I'm nowhere near the curb on trash day.
As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, one thing I'm sure of . . . it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.
Me, sobbing: "I can't see you anymore . . . I'm not going to let you hurt me again." My personal Trainer's response to me was: "It was only one sit-up."
As I've gotten older, people think I've become lazy. The truth is I'm just being more energy efficient.
I haven't gotten anything done today. I've been in the Fruit and Veg Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.
If you find yourself feeling useless, remember it took 20 years, trillions of dollars, and four presidents to replace the Taliban with the Taliban.
I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then he made the earth round. . .and laughed and laughed and laughed.
I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on just one.
I put my scale in the bathroom closet and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.
My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from.
Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling.
Apparently RSVP'ing to a wedding invitation "Maybe next time" isn't the correct response.
She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found mute by now.
There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is, once you get old you stop being polite and start being honest.
"I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas."
I don't want to be 18 again. I couldn't take it.
"and then he made the world round and laughed and laughed " you killed me with that one ! :lol:
I was the "life of the party" telling some of those today. Even my wife laughed. :)
Not a joke, but pretty funny...
Someone I know took the kids' hamster to the Vet because it hadn't moved in 3 days. It just huddled against the back of the cage in the same place. They gave it water with a dropper but it didn't make a move to eat.
The Vet came out and asked if there was anything unusual about the activities of the little rodent recently. Not much, but it escaped its cage for a few days and they found it under the refrigerator.
"Well," the Vet said, "that would explain the refrigerator magnet it stuffed in its cheek." Sure enough, after they put it back in its cage it got its face magnetically stuck to the side.
Jaybee , that one is priceless ! Wife got the giggles.
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so. I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"
At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion: A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts." I rest my case. Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.
;D
:lol: :lol: :lol:
I made some Moroccan rolls this week. They're pretty tasty, even though I had to use thyme from an jar that's been clear at the back of the spice shelf forever.
I like the old thyme Moroccan rolls.
Would that be the "old time more rockin' rolls?
Quote from: enjenjo on July 29, 2022, 09:46:15 PM
Would that be the "old time more rockin' rolls?
Indeed it would. :)
The guy at the car dealership said the vehicle I inquired about would seat 5 people without any problems. Then it suddenly occurred to me, I don't think I know 5 people without any problems.
Sunday Morning Sex
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
My wife told me the other day that there was a mouse in the kitchen that was nibbling on her doughnuts. So I dug out the old Victor mouse trap and set it in the doughnut box.
The next morning I checked the trap, and it was gone. :o I figured my wife had removed it, but a while later she told me she found the trap, with a mouse in it under a frying pan on the stove. The mouse was still alive, with one hind foot caught in the trap. I was going to adjust it's attitude with a block of wood, but she told me not to kill it, so I took it outside and released it.
So yesterday I was setting on the porch in the morning, and when I went in, I told my wife that the mouse walked by me with crutches and a cast on it's leg and gave me a dirty look as it went by. :lol:
I went out on the porch again a bit later and told my wife that I saw the mouse again along with a couple more mice. I said they were looking at me and drawing their thumb across their throat.
So last night I was going out again and she told me to take a hammer to protect myself from the mice. That is why I love this lady.
Why don't they play poker in the jungle ? Too many cheetahs :lol:
Which of King Arthur's knights built the round table ? Sir Cumference . :lol:
Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as "smoke". Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.
For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!
The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward.
Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.
It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets.
Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.
In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.
And remember: "A gentleman does not motor about after dark."
Joseph Lucas "The Prince of Darkness" 1842-1903
A few Lucas quips:
• The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
• Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
• Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
• Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
• The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF.
• The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
• If Lucas made guns, wars would not start
• Back in the '70s, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.
Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators.